(Approx 2 minute read)

Close-mindedness isn’t always as obvious as we think. It doesn’t just show up as stubbornness or refusal to change. Sometimes, it hides behind the belief that you already know enough – enough about your martial arts, enough about the world, enough about yourselves, enough about others.
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Ask anyone if they’re close-minded, and they’ll almost always say no. Most people see themselves as open-minded, good listeners, and open to new ideas.
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But then there are those who seem to talk endlessly, dominating every conversation with their opinions, leaving little room for anyone else.
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It’s exhausting, isn’t it? These are the people who treat conversations like platforms to prove themselves. They’re not listening to understand; they’re talking to be heard, to validate their own ideas. It’s as if their value depends on filling every silence, and any pause is an opportunity to assert their authority – or at least their opinion.
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What’s behind this need to talk so much? Is it ego or maybe insecurity? I guess that talking endlessly gives the illusion of control, as if keeping the spotlight ensures they’ll never be challenged. But this approach to communication isn’t just frustrating for others; it’s limiting for them.
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Here’s the thing: real wisdom doesn’t need a microphone.
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As the Tao Te Ching so beautifully puts it: “Those who know do not talk. Those who talk do not know.” The wisest people aren’t scrambling to fill every silence. They understand that listening is where true understanding begins. They’ve mastered the art of waiting, of reflecting, of considering before responding.
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By contrast, the person who insists on always being “right” leaves no room for growth. Their mind is like a full cup, overflowing with their own beliefs and opinions. And just like a full cup, nothing new can be added.
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So, how do we handle people like this? Or better yet, how do we make sure we’re not becoming one of them?
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It starts with recognizing the value of silence. Letting someone finish their thought, even if you disagree. Asking questions instead of jumping in with answers. Reflecting before responding.
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I don’t know, maybe it’s because I find value in silence, but I certainly enjoy listening to those who have more knowledge and experience than me.
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Communication isn’t a contest, and it’s not about who gets the last word in. It’s about connection – about being willing to learn as much as you can.
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The world doesn’t need more noise. It needs more moments of understanding, more thoughtful conversations, more genuine listening. In the martial arts, silence and introspection is often where the greatest lessons are learned – whether it’s quietly observing a technique, reflecting on a lesson or feedback, or simply sitting listening to your own breath.
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So, the next time someone dominates the conversation, take a moment to notice: are they really saying anything at all?
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And if you feel the urge to fill every gap with words, pause. Because in the quiet, we often learn the most.
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You know what? If words were punches, some people would be throwing wild haymakers – hoping something lands.
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As someone famous once said, ‘Be water, my friend.’ No, wait… how about, ‘Be quiet, my friend’.
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Written by Adam Carter – Shuri Dojo