(Approx 1 minute 50 second read)

In the martial arts, one of the greatest skills we can develop has nothing to do with speed, strength, or technique. It’s the ability to truly listen.
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Too often, conversations between martial artists – whether about training methods, kata interpretation, or self-defense – turn into battles of conviction.
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We don’t listen to understand; we listen to reply. We hear just enough of what someone says to prepare our counterpoint, our defense, our “correction”. In doing so, we miss what’s actually being shared.
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I believe you need to be aware of other people’s feelings, opinions and ideas – we need to seek first to understand, and then be understood. This is not weakness, nor is it surrender. It’s the discipline of leaving our ego at the door long enough to see things from another’s perspective.
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How many times are you not really listening you just want to answer or comment. When really you should be listening to understand.
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In a dojo, this can mean the difference between improving and remaining stuck. Outside the dojo, it can mean the difference between connection and conflict.
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I’ve met instructors who are so convinced their way is the way, that every conversation becomes an exercise in self-validation. Yet the history of martial arts is filled with cross-pollination, adaptation, and change. None of that happens without the humility to listen.
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When we approach others with curiosity rather than certainty, we invite the possibility of learning something new – even if it challenges what we’ve always believed. As Bruce Lee famously said and which has been repeated many, many times, “Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, add what is uniquely your own.” Perhaps that is the truest spirit of martial arts: not the defense of our own position, but the constant refinement of it.
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Just remember – you don’t know it all. I don’t care how long or who you’ve trained with. You simply don’t. I don’t. None of us do. The best masters I’ve met, even in advanced age, say the same thing: they are still learning.
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To be a great student, or instructor, you need to be a great listener. There are no two ways about it.
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If you’re not listening to others, you will never understand at a deeper level. And if you don’t understand the message the other person is trying to give, you’re not listening. And if you’re not listening, you’re not learning.
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Rise above it. Be the best at what you do. Drop the ego, shut up and listen. And when you think you know – shut up and listen some more.
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Written by Adam Carter – Shuri Dojo