When Students Leave: Teaching and Letting Go – Some Stay, Some Leave, Reflections on the Path of Teaching.

(Approx 2 minute read)

In the martial arts, a few students will stay with their teacher for what seems like forever, and those relationships become rare treasures. But many will leave, sometimes suddenly, sometimes gradually, and that too is part of the journey. Both paths carry value, and both shape what it means to teach.
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Two students have been on my mind recently. Both were close to me, and both are no longer training at my dojo. One was my main uke – the one I relied on for demonstrations, always stepping forward to take the role of training partner, always dependable and a pleasure to teach.
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He left with just a text one day explaining that he and his two sons, who trained together, needed to do something different. The other, a talented and intelligent student, had his path cut short by a knee injury from a soccer match and never returned.
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Neither departure was easy, and both reminded me of something all instructors eventually face: students move on.
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As teachers, we pour time, energy, and heart into our students, knowing that one day they will leave – sometimes with a handshake, sometimes without a word. It can feel bittersweet, but it’s the reality of the martial arts.
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Students leave for many reasons. Young students grow and want something new. For older students, life gets in the way – work, family, injury, or simply the pull of something different. For a few, training is a lifelong commitment. For others, it’s a chapter in their journey. And as much as we might want them to stay, the choice is not ours to make.
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What matters is not how long they remain, but what they take with them. Every hour on the mat, every correction, every shared laugh or breakthrough moment – it all leaves an imprint. Even when students move on, a piece of what they learned stays with them, just as their time with us shapes who we are as teachers.
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Sometimes a student leaves because their instructor is not what they thought he was. Other times, it’s simply a matter of the student’s own growth. In either case, it’s proof that the martial arts, like life itself, are meant to evolve.
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We should take pride in the roots we’ve helped lay down, maybe it is not the end of our influence – it is simply carried with them into another part of their life.
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“The greatest gifts you can give your students are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.” – Adapted from Denis Waitley
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Perhaps the true measure of a good teacher isn’t found in how many students stay forever, but in the depth of the lessons they carry with them. That, maybe, is the quiet legacy every good teacher leaves behind.
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Written by Adam Carter – Shuri Dojo

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